Carrying ON

Struggling through today was not much better than coping with yesterday. As Brownie and I become closer together and console each other I now see Brown show how much she misses Hariy and Blackie by mimicking some of their old habits. Today Brown was laying in Blackie's old spot in front of the refrigerator. Later she took to a folding table that had been exclusively Hairy's territory. I don't think either of the others had laid there ever before. Just to mention a few out of character things.

I can't even stand to look at the china cabinet without choking up yet as Hairy had a way of getting on top and would perch up there as queen of her domain looking down at us peasants. And she pretty much was queen around here. I should dig up a photo of it and post it.

Brown is really not that big on canned food. A small portion once in a while and she's good, which makes keeping the remainder fresh a bit of a challenge because it may be some time before she cares for anymore. It breaks my heart to pop the top of a can - remembering how Blackie & Hairy loved to lick the lid clean. They also liked to lick the gravy from my TV dinners. It just doesn't feel right to toss away the tray when they cherished it so much but Brown has no such inclination.

Every time I hear a dog outside my heart stops as I try to recall if Brown is inside or out. Now Brown probably would not have fallen for the pit bulls' trick of pretending to be friendly as she is not so chummy with dogs as Hairy was. I want those dogs apprehended and put down and the owner deal with by the authorities for were I to meet up with them any time soon I am afraid what might happen. Afraid I might act in haste and anger. There needs to be justice in the matter for me to find peace. And these dogs could just as easily turn on a small child playing in the yard. If you saw the video I recorded you'd see just what I mean.

Maybe tomorrow will be easier. I have begun rearranging my security cameras for more clarity for had I seen Hairy out there either she would have been saved or I would have been dead. It hurts that had I only know she was out there and in danger I could have dashed to the attempted rescue and perhaps been just in time to spare he fatal injuries. As I review the footage there was a 3 second window of opportunity but I wasn't prepared to dash out and confront very quick, large strange dogs for no good reason and unarmed. I guess that one brief period of 3 seconds will unjustly haunt me for quite some time to come. My mind knows but my heart just refuses.