Coping the Day After

So many memories to deal with. So many habits haunting me. I have to admit I was balling like a baby as I lowered my dear Hairykins (as I would call her in a tender moment or sometimes to come eat) into the ground. She was my honey. She loved the outdoors and was friendly to dogs but these pit bulls were entirely the wrong dogs to meet up with.

As I watched the security footage I learned she had no warning of them being a threat. Suddenly they just attacked after walking up so friendly to her. She literally had no idea until it was too late, nor did I. It all transpired in literally 60 secs. I saw the dogs burst in to the carport on the monitor but had no idea she was in there just out of clear visual range. If I had I might could have stopped them in time, but I thought she was safe and sound until I heard her weak call for help.

They literally treated her like a rag doll. Enough said. I made the one who took her as a prize drop her but the injuries were too severe and she died in my arms. I was totally angry and the little boy from next door was balling his eyes out.

As for the blog I do not know it's future. If I meet up with the owner who lets those dogs roam let's just say I'm not so sure about my own future either. ;)

I was almost coping with the loss of Blackie, but he was old and probably always in pain. I think he held on as long as he did just for me. I could say more but this is too painful today.

Mom saw me on the home security stream as I laid my friend to rest. Fortunately the spot is off camera and she didn't see my tears. Intentionally I laid Hairy and Blackie with their bodies soaking in the morning Florida sunshine that they loved so much but they are protected from the heat of the day by trees and the shed. I had an amber yard light the doesn't put out much light which I have at their site partly as a night marker and kinda like a little sentimental night light for them so they wouldn't have to be in the dark. At their head is a little Raggedly Ann yard ornament as a temporary headstone marker. Never in my life have I done that for a pet! No matter much they were loved. But these guys were definitely super special.

Mom called me afterwords and I was dealing OK with the experience until I started to tell her that as luck would have it I realized that by chance of their final resting positions I had buried both with their little heads facing the house, sorta like so they would always know where home is and at that point I just choked on my words and the tear factory commenced. I had to hang up and just let it flow. Guys don't like to admit to such things but I confess on this occasion.

I would like to add one thing more - God cried. OK believe what you want but I think God cried. Let me explain why I believe this.

Some have said that God has spoken through thunder, or that His voice sounds like thunder, perhaps at times He speaks through the wind. Well Hairy loved to sit in the carport and watch the rain as it poured down. On occasion the carport would flood, at which time or if a storm became violent she was finally ready to come in out of the rain. Partly soaked, of course.

The night Hairy died, actually probably wasn't much more than an hour, if that, I was praying about the situation while facing the monitor. Suddenly there was a flash of light but no thunder. The waters began to fill my carport right up to the very spot I had laid Hairy for the night and the water stopped right there! It continued to rain but the flooding stopped right there and encroached no further all night. This was unusual.

I went outside because if God was crying I wanted the love. Then it dawned on me that I also like to sit in the carport when it rains just as Hairy did unless there is severe lightning, which here in Florida we see more often than not. We're the lightning capital, after all. It reminded me of one reason Hairy was do dear to me is that we shared many of the same likes and attitudes and tastes.

I considered those responsible for my loss and then suddenly there was a loud thunderboom but I don't recall seeing any lightning. The storm never became violent, at least not here. So yes, I do believe God was trying to comfort me and maybe it was even a special gift for Hairy herself.

I don't know if pets have anything like heaven to move on to. I sometimes think about it and I'd like to think they do. We know that after the Great Flood (you know, Noah and the Ark) God made a covenant with the animals. So I wouldn't entirely rule out some sort of an afterlife for animals and fish if God felt them worthy of making them a promise. Of all the mysteries I could ask God about if given the chance I know that would probably be my question, at least today it would. But after last night I may have that answer already.